What I learned in my Month of YA

I love YA books.

Which is good, because that's what I write.

So, in honor of my love of YA and the fact that I'm neck-deep in my latest YA manuscript, I decided to do what I called A Month of YA, in which I only read young adult books for six weeks (which, okay, isn't technically a month, but A Month of YA just flows nicely).

There was no rhyme or reason to the books I picked. Some I just had on my Kindle that I'd bought when they were on sale, and some my number on the library waiting list came up and I got them in during this time.

Here's the list and what I learned from things these authors did so well.



Your characters don't have to be perfect to be loved. Make them unforgettable and real.



YA is not afraid to tackle the dark stuff. Don't play it safe.



This plot ended up taking an unexpected turn that I loved. Keep your readers guessing.



Atmosphere and word choice play a huge role in the tone of the novel.



Comedy and drama can go hand-in-hand together. Also, dusty chapels make for great make-out sessions.



First kisses are the swooniest. Make the characters connect on an emotional level first, then kapow the reader with a fabulous first kiss.



Give the readers what they want, but do it in an unexpected way.



There are many different voices among teens, and we need to remember the silent ones as well.



Motorcycle guys are hot. *ahem* Also, goal and conflict are super important in telling a compelling story.



Relationships are the crux of most novels: relationships with family, with friends, with self. Make them real, raw, and relevant.



Destroy any letters you write but don't intend to send. :) I can't say enough how much I love the unexpected twist the love story took. I thought I knew the end from the first chapter and I was so very wrong. Give the readers what they don't even know they want and do it in an amazing way.


Setting can be a character and add to the story just as much as plot, characterization, and conflict.

Have you read any amazing YA books lately?

Having a Child With Down Syndrome

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month, and as many of you know, I have a son with Down Syndrome. He’s a beautiful, happy, mischievous nine year old who had done more to change me than any other single thing I’ve been through or person I’ve known.

I get asked a lot about what it’s like having a child with disabilities. On top of having Down Syndrome, he also has some severe health issues that require daily medications, 20+ surgeries, hospital stays, plus there are the therapies, specialist appointments, and meetings with the school. People are curious about what that’s like on a day-to-day basis, as well as long-term. Taken on paper, it seems like a lot to handle, but I can tell you that when you are living it, it’s a lot like anything else you’re dealt. You just do it.

Recently I had the chance to email someone who just found out she’s having a baby with Down Syndrome. I’ve sent emails (and had conversations) like this several times over the years since I’ve had Spencer—people who were like me. Afraid, nervous, overwhelmed, not sure what this means for the rest of their lives. (I go more into how I felt about the news in this post.)

In honor of Down Syndrome Awareness month, I want to share with you a letter I recently sent to a mother who had just discovered that her daughter will have Down Syndrome. I share this partly to give you some small insight into what it's like to have a child with Down Syndrome and also as a tribute to my son.

Dear Friend,

 I've been thinking about you and wanted to write you a note with a few of my thoughts that come from having found out over 9 years ago that I'd have a child with Down Syndrome. I remember how much I struggled with that news. I had so many fears and it felt like NO ONE understood or congratulated me. My pregnancy turned from something exciting to something sad and awkward, and the only thing that helped me was talking to someone who'd had a child with Down Syndrome several years before. So, with that in mind, I wanted to send you this email and hope that it can help bring you a little peace.

1) Having a child with Down Syndrome is one of the best things that has ever happened to me and to our family. You may know that Spencer was born with several birth defects--including in his heart, stomach, and intestines. He has had several surgeries, therapies, hospitalizations, meetings and so much more where I have met the most amazing people I never would have met otherwise. People who have changed my life and changed how I see things. It's compelled me to turn more toward God than I ever had to before and to never take life and the people I love for granted. I wouldn't trade those lessons for the world.

2) Having a child with Down Syndrome will help you see the goodness in people. I am constantly in awe of the people who are touched just by a child with Down Syndrome. I've seen a grown man, tatooed, fresh from the army, struggling with drug addiction, weep after one of Spencer's 100% accepting hugs. People often jump up to help me when needed, strangers stop to talk to him and give him high fives, and I've seen genuine kindness and compassion that touches my heart.

3) Having a child with Down Syndrome will bring a special spirit into your home. Sometimes people say to me: I don't know how you do it. (And you'll get this a lot too. You probably already have). Here's how I do it: I turn to the Lord and he is ALWAYS, without fail there for me. He has given me strength beyond my own time and time again. You know that Martin Handcart story* where they are pushing the handcarts, and then suddenly the handcarts are pulling them--and it's the angels helping? I've felt that. Points where my heart hurts so terribly for all the things he goes through, or all the things he's missing out on (or for all our family has gone through and how long the road will always be) and I feel like we cannot go on any longer, and angels have wrapped me in their arms and helped me do it for another day. They surround Spencer. It is a tangible feeling. With every hard thing we've gone through with him, we have been blessed abundantly with assurances that the Lord is very aware of us and our struggles, and that he believes in our capabilities. 

4) Having a child with Down Syndrome will change you, and it will change your family. I have seen my children take responsibility for the care of their brother without me asking—it’s just because they love him. They are very accepting of other's differences. They are the first to help other students with disabilities in their classes or volunteer to sit by them. It is normal for them and it is a blessing to these other kids and their families. I didn't know anything about Down Syndrome before having Spencer, and you quickly learn that, in a lot of ways, they are exactly like any other kid. We have more similarities than differences, but because of him, I've learned to love the differences in all of us.

I know that my biggest worry and heartache about Spencer was him missing out on things. But he was sent here, in this way, with this body, because he has a special purpose and certain lives he was sent to touch. I know I'm one of those lives. And I've seen him touch other's lives with his innocent, loving ways and how he continues to smile and laugh despite chronic pain. I didn't choose this, but if I had to go back in time, knowing what I know now, I would choose it. In a heartbeat. 

You will see miracles. You will see the hand of God in your life more than you ever have before. You will love this child with a fierce sort of love that will change you. You will cherish the hugs and kisses and snuggles because you will have a greater appreciation for how delicate life really is. It will be the hardest thing you ever do in your life, but also the best. 

Congratulations!!
Kaylee

(*Martin Handcart story: They were a group of pioneers from the LDS church in the mid-1800s trying to move west to Utah. Due to various reasons, they left late in the season and ended up meeting with harsh weather conditions. Many people died of exposure--children and adults alike--but they had to keep moving forward. Several have left accounts saying that when they were too weak with hypothermia, starvation, and sorrow to push their handcarts, their handcarts began pulling them instead, and they knew it was angels helping them. Go here for the full story. It's pretty amazing.)

Don't Be Boring

My lovely grandmother reads more than any person I’ve ever met. She goes to the bookstore several times a week, and the people who work there often set aside all the new arrivals for her to buy when she comes in.

She always says that the best present in the world is a book she hasn’t read.

(See where I get my love of reading from? It’s genetic.)

I love to ask her about the books she’s read so she can filter out the fantastic books from the “meh” books for me, but lately she’s had one major complaint: She’s reading the same plotline over and over again, with nothing fresh or new added to it.

Or plots where nothing is happening except for characters talking and thinking all the time.

Or the stakes are too low, and she just doesn’t care.

Writing advice from an avid reader: Don’t be boring.

Instead:

Make things happen

Have real conflict

Don’t always have your characters do the safe thing

Watch out for clichés

Turn a trope on its head

Be funny

Be real

Be interesting

Don’t play it safe

Don’t write the first thing that pops into your head

Raise the stakes

Make it matter.

Writing Advice #1: Write Everyday

For years I had two main misconceptions about writing that I think a lot of other people have.

1) I don’t have time to write every day.

2) In order to write, I have to have a huge chunk of time to make sure I get in the “zone.”

Over the past year, I have learned that both of these notions are in fact FALSE.

How familiar does this sound:

Wake up at six, get the older kids ready for school and on the bus, eat breakfast, exercise, run regular errands with a screaming 2yo in tow, do unexpected last minute task that always sneaks its way in (doctor’s appointment, visit friend, make a meal for someone, kindergarten class party), eat lunch, put 2yo down for nap, do laundry/dishes/floor/clean all the things before the tornadoes kids come home. Get kids off bus, snack, The Homework Battle, spend some time together, start dinner, eat, basketball practice/scouts/church meeting, showers and bedtime for kids. Then there’s the emails, trying to tackle commitments I’ve made, the church stuff, and spending time with my lovely husband before I collapse into bed by eleven.

This is my typical day. There are days where I barely have a few minutes to sit down, and if I do, I’m probably in front of my computer sending out emails I’ve put off for too long.

Where does the writing fit?

I used to think I needed minimum of a 90 minute chunk to write, and looking at my schedule, it felt impossible. I read a fantastic article about writing for 30 minutes a day and setting a timer—and I decided to give it a try, because it’s a lot easier to find 30 spare minutes than 90 minutes in my day. 

Truth: The first few times I did this was as hard as I thought it might be. I wasn’t doing it every day, so most of my 30 minutes was spent trying to figure out where I was in my story and where I wanted to go next. It was ineffective. 

Things changed when I started writing every day. It was like I had this momentum, and instead of taking me 30 minutes just to get in the “zone” I was already in it the minute I sat down to write because the story was still fresh in my mind. I was able to find small chunks of time all throughout my day, and a few minutes here and there has often added up to hours. If I skip even one day, it is so much harder to write the next time I sit down.

The chores, the emails, the ringing phone will all keep for a short amount of time so you can work on your story. Put off reading the next chapter in your book or watching your show until you’ve written in your manuscript.

Writing every day is a huge commitment. It is. But becoming an author requires commitment, and it is very rewarding to see words continue to grow across all the formerly blank pages. 

Write in your manuscript every day. Even if it’s only one sentence. Keep that momentum, and you’ll write more in less time which is important for how busy we all are.