Thursday, December 13, 2012

Moments That Change Everything

Someone said something really wise to me a little while back. He was telling my husband and I about how his son broke his arm in two places while attempting to do a 360 spin off the monkey bars and onto the slide. After two ER visits and a surgery, the boy was fine and ready to be playing again--but his mom and dad were still a little shaken up. Everything had turned out okay--but it might not have.

He finished his story by saying, "You know, we spend all these hours and days laboring to raise our kids and do everything right, and it just takes a few moments to change everything."

I've often thought about defining moments in life. Although the way we are raised plays a huge part in who we are and the decisions we make--those defining moments really set the course for where we go in life.

A friend of mine lost her son in an accident last year around Thanksgiving. His name was Chase. I think of Chase almost every day. His death was a defining moment for me. At the funeral, my friend said, "We don't regret one moment we had with Chase. We loved him and spent his whole life showing him that." It made me think about my kids and how I was spending my time. If they were to die suddenly, could I say that I had no regrets? Had I done the best I could? Did they know how much they were loved?

I am a different mom because of Chase. I am a better mom because of him, and I will never forget him and his sweet, chubby-cheeked smile.

A lot of defining moments are things that we have no control over. These families couldn't control what happened to their children or the outcome of these accidents. I think we find out who we are, what we're made of, and what we really believe in the wake of these moments and in the years that follow.

When I think about who I am at the core--I know a lot of those come from moments where I've had to make a decision that could change everything, or moments when something has happened and I have to choose how to react. Moments that other people may move forward from, but I'll never forget. These have been defining moments for me.

I'd love to hear some of your defining moments.


  1. I won't go into my defining moment but I will tell you this, it changed me forever. Fear motivates me now. Excepting failure is not an option. I swore to myself years ago, I would press forward whether windows and doors closed or not. SO I continue on.

    Hugs and chocolate,

  2. Wow, this is a lovely post, it makes me appreciate what I have so much more. A couple of weeks ago my cousin lost her baby when she was 30 weeks pregnant. I just had a baby in September and I complained the whole time about how much I hate to be prego. But when I heard about my cousin I suddenly appreciated the process of being pregnant for so long. Next time I have a child, I'll be more humbled about the precious gift of creating life. Great post!

  3. You are right it does all come down to who we are at the core. Sometimes we find we like the person we are and sometimes we find we don't. It's a learning experience and it can be a scary one. The key is we learn from it and grow as a person. Life is a journey and it's a given there will be bumps in the road. It is how we come down from that bump and move forward that matters. May you continue to move forward. - Cynthia

  4. I had a friend who passed away from cancer, leaving behind her husband and daughter. All she wanted was to live a life like the one I have now. It makes me a better mom to think of her.

  5. I can't think of specific defining moments because I've had so many of them and there are many more to come. Every moment that changes how I see and think of my loved ones and the purpose of life here on earth, including reading this post, is a precious treasure that reminds me of what I need to be doing. And I need reminding often. Thanks for this post and the reminder.

  6. Very touching story, indeed... Thank you for sharing! I guess everyone could share such moments, I would name them also the moments when one feels touched by God (if there's one...).
    Well, I use “godlike” like a figure of speech here, “heavenly” would do the job too as a good definition. Though most of the times they have nothing to do with heaven or God, I guess. (I don’t believe in God/s, actually, yet it doesn’t mean he/she/they don’t exist, or he/they are not connected with such moments).
    When discussing such moments, there are two quotes that immediately spring up in my mind: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the
    moments that take our breath"… and: “To be dead doesn't mean to lie breathless 6 feet under the ground... It's rather to go to the same boring work everyday from 8,30 a.m. till 5 p.m., do the same stupid things over and over again, fulfill the expectations of all the other boring/dull people, or feel that any change will bring destructions and chaos... my future Space Ghosts or Space Hide and Seek ;).
    Such godlike moments are certain prove of the truth in such statements. I’m sure everyone will agree (no matter whether we believe in God/s or not), we all had such moments and they are the ones that add meaning to our life, help us improve our attitude towards anything and anyone, they could make us better persons, change our way of living, etc. Such godlike moments could be too various, of course: from capturing an amazing moment in a photo, to winning a lot of money by a lottery, even dreaming of performing an incredible deed, or finding the true love, etc. Actually, these moments don’t have to be connected with money to be godlike. According to my opinion, and experience ;), the best among them are of the kind that don’t involve any of the so valuable papers. Like some of those I had in the past, making some good photos: the love dance of two frogs, the shining eyes of a cat in the middle of the night, some amazing winter, snowy sceneries high in the mountains with a lot of snow, fog, some light and bushes, or some funny moments with some other animals (sleeping cats, playing kittens, eating dogs), etc.
    I attached these photos, yet they are no match for some other events, like when I found a small fossil of a shell of an ancient clam… And felt so exited, that later this find helped me write my first book Tale Of The Rock Pieces and create my incredible ancient characters – the rock pieces. Or when, as a kid, I saw a wonderful girl with so amazing light-auburn hair that I decided she was probably an heiress of mermaids and her hair couldn’t get wet, no matter how long she stayed in water… This meeting was the reason to imagine some new features of mermaids and add them in some of my stories too… and fell in love with that girl, though it was just a short meeting from a distance and I never saw her again.
    BTW, the heavenly moments that include more imagination than reality sometimes could be better than the so called real. One of the most vivid memories from my childhood will always be a dream in which I defeated a Fiery man (an ancient monster made entirely of flames) just using a sword. Many would say it was nothing more than a childish nonsense. Yet, my dream turned out to be a good way to find the inner strength in me to deal with real problems… Like maintaining a good spirit and willing to reach to the end in my favor, defending my rights, trying to stop dishonest treatment, or a lie, unfair decision, etc… This dream really helped me, if not 100 % of the events at least enough…
    I'm sorry if this became too long, but I couldn't refrain... I'm glad there are other people who could appreciate such moments too...


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